15 ways to make someone with coeliac disease angry

gluten free diet coeliac humour

As someone with coeliac disease, it doesn’t take a lot to make me feel a bit ragey about food. There are many things that can be frustrating on a gluten free diet, and make you want to spontaneously combust with annoyance. But no fear, friends, we’re all in it together! At least, I like to think we are.

I’m hoping you can relate to some of these – I’m sure there are probably more! Gluten-eaters, you have been warned! Here are 15 ways to make a person with coeliac disease angry…

Make all of the pizzas half price apart from the gluten free one

Pizza Express in Tesco, I’m looking at you. Why are your normal pizzas always on offer but the gluten free ones aren’t?

Bring out a new gluten free sandwich and then make it unsafe for coeliacs

Oh Pret, what have you done!? ‘Yay look at our new gluten free sandwich! But oh, wait, it’s at risk of cross contamination so you can’t eat it, soz……’ *rage*

Make a meal deal with everything containing gluten

What’s that? A meal deal on EVERYTHING apart from the gluten free sandwiches? Or the sandwiches are included but there’s no gluten free crisps? Eurgh.

Dump non-gluten-free food in the free from aisle

Why do people do this!? It’s so frustrating when you think there’s a new gluten free product and it turns out it’s just someone being lazy!

Make it super complicated to order gluten free food

Looking at you Domino’s, hiding the gluten free base option at the bottom of the app as some obscure option, rather than the old-style way of ordering!

Deliver a takeaway gluten free pizza un-sliced, without a cutter

And then you have to use the end of a teaspoon to attempt to cut/rip it apart because you don’t have any cutlery in your hotel room. True story.

Give them fruit salad for dessert

Go on, I double dare you to give me some sad-looking berries while you eat your cheesecake.

Dip your breadcrumb-y knife into the butter

Oh, spread that gluten round like you just don’t care!

Keep pointing them to the vegan foods

What’s that? You can’t eat gluten? Oh yes, we have a brilliant vegan menu….. #NOTTHESAMETHING

Bring out a whole range of gluten free products that are twice the price and half the size of their ‘normal’ counterparts

I know we’ve discussed this before, but it never gets any less frustrating. Come on, give us normal-sized gluten free food!

Or just shrink the gluten free foods on sale already

M&S I’m looking at you, your snack sized bars used to be a lot bigger than they are now, but the price is still exactly the same!

Tell them to ‘just try a little bit’

You really wanna see what happens? Some people just do NOT get it – it’s not like we’re avoiding gluten for fun, coeliac is a serious disease.

Tell your coeliac friend you’re going gluten free to lose weight…

Yea, sure, go for it Sheila. Because eating gluten free cakes will be so much more conducive to weight loss than normal ones…

…and then give up a week later because ‘it’s too difficult’

Well at least you have a choice. If I decided that, things would end very, very badly…

Throw bread at them

Ok, that’s just pure mean. I don’t even know what dark place in my head that came from! Please don’t do that.

Have I missed any out?

I’m pretty sure there are a lot more gluten-induced scenarios which would make me angry – are there any I’ve missed? I’d love to know anything I’ve missed in the comments below and share the laughs!

If you want a giggle, give these other posts a read!

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14 Comments

  1. Clare
    June 20, 2019 / 21:52

    Costa Coffee👎 no gluten free wraps/ sandwiches anymore, only salad bowls or porridge to choose from at lunch.

    • Anna
      July 14, 2019 / 15:47

      Yes Clare, i go to the movies straight from work and used to pick up the GF wrap really nice, but now i have to make sure to team member to make my own food or i am stuck with a bag of crisps (or one of those sickly sweet cakes that are ready wrapped on the top of the counter) 🙁

  2. Clare
    June 21, 2019 / 22:49

    Staff in a restaurant not even knowing what gluten is despite all the new allergen guidelines. “Oh you can’t have the panna cotta because it has dairy and gelatin”. That’s not gluten! When asking someone what they have on the menu that’s gluten free: “macaroni cheese”, “is it made with gluten free pasta then?”, “no…” That dish is virtually all gluten then!!!

  3. Kirsty
    June 23, 2019 / 17:16

    Saving up for years so you can afford a business class seat for a long haul flight thinking you will have a better food choice only to be served fruit salad for starter, salad for main (no protein!) and fruit salad for dessert. Guess what I was offered for the afternoon tea….. yup fruit salad!!!!!! Grrrrrrrr I’m looking at you BRITISH AIRWAYS!!! Grrrrr. When I asked if I could have either the steak or chicken option I was told no as they had gluten – you can imagine how happy my tween was at the option of salad!

    • Chris Jones
      July 21, 2019 / 18:39

      We were upgraded at the gate to Business class on Emirates having ordered a gluten free meal in Economy. However, they ‘could not’ go and get the gluten free meal from the downstairs cabin because it was assigned to a specific seat and the seat in Business class was not assigned a gluten free meal? As if the seat was going to eat the food? And the stewards said they could not get an economy meal and bring it to the business class as if I was worried about snob value. Unbelievable!

  4. June 24, 2019 / 12:55

    When they really only have salad available at any fast food or other restaurant…no, I DON’T suddenly love salad just because I can’t eat the other 99% of the items on your menu!

  5. Bron
    June 27, 2019 / 13:28

    I get annoyed paying the same price for a meal when one or 2 items are contaminated so you can’t have it. I had a cooked breakfast at the Hilton Hotel once and they took away the sausages and bacon and gave me half a plate of mushrooms for the same price. I like mushrooms but not that much!

  6. July 1, 2019 / 06:15

    Ask staff in an expensive restaurant if they have Gluten free on the menu and they say they offer GF bread. Well thanks.

  7. Rebecca
    July 18, 2019 / 21:59

    Gluten free foods being the low calorie options! Costa rolled gluten free and vegan into one and their wrap was less than 300 calories?! That’s not lunch.

    Also trendy gluten-free-ers eating gluten free options then eaten the gluten full ones too 😡😡

  8. Chris Jones
    July 21, 2019 / 18:42

    I can excuse people’s ignorance of something they do not have to deal with themselves but professionals who are trained to deal with gluten intolerance or coeliac disease who are negligent or just plain difficult over things I cannot eat gets me frustrated. Most people I deal with are very accommodating but some restaurants and food sellers are just plain difficult over difference.

  9. Chris Mahbouby
    July 22, 2019 / 21:09

    Yeah my biggest hate is on a works do where you order your food in advance and still only able to offer a fruit salad for dessert while everyone else gets Christmas pud or some other extravagant delicious dessert!! Then get luxury biscuits with their coffee while you get NOTHING!

  10. marie Pearson
    September 11, 2019 / 22:22

    Saying you are a family friendly GF restaurant and having no kids GF menu. Children have coeliac disease too!

  11. Jess
    September 12, 2019 / 20:32

    Great list, and so, so true…
    I had a good one when I tried to order gf pizza from Mamma Dough as a takeaway… eaten gf pizza in one of their branches before with no problem, but could only find the gf pizza base option on a couple of their pizzas on Deliveroo, so called up the place to ask what was going on – turns out if they think a mix of toppings is ‘too messy’ on a gluten free base, they don’t allow you to order it, even though all the toppings are gluten free! Rage!

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