18 things that happen when you eat out on a gluten free diet

18 things that happen when you eat out on a gluten free diet

Finding gluten free restaurants when you have coeliac disease can be tricky. A lot of people with coeliac disease are frightened of eating out due to bad past experiences – or lack of gluten free choice. But just remember, we’re all in it together! Here are 18 things that happen when you eat on a gluten free diet – how many can you relate to?

You browse the menu online days before to choose what you’ll eat

Sometimes you’ll email to double check it’s gluten free, to avoid disappointment.

The ‘gluten free option’ is just the normal menu, minus the fun stuff

I’ll take a burger with no bun and a side salad please. Thanks so much, I can’t wait…

You dread eating another jacket potato…

Like please, give me anything but more starchy, potatoey stodge.

…and who wants steak without chips!?

WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING?

You ask the waiter what is gluten free and they look SO confused…

This is going to be a long, looooong evening.

…and you spend the whole night quizzing them every time they bring food out

Are you sure this is gluten free? Did you definitely check it was fried separately? Did you spit in my food because I’m being ‘fussy’?

If you’re lucky, they bring out a whole gluten free menu…

Literally the best feeling in the world.

…which even includes gluten free pizza

Excuse me while I just get up on the table and do a happy dance.

You glare at everyone eating their ‘normal’ food…

If I can’t eat the calamari or garlic bread, nobody should.

…while you eat salad. Again.

Please God turn this lettuce into a big, doughy, gluten free pizza.

The only gluten free dessert option is fruit salad…

If you haven’t joined the #FruitIsNotAPudding movement yet, where have you been?

…or gluten free chocolate brownie

I’m not even sure I have to justify this by saying anything else.

So you just settle for coffee…

I love coffee at the best of times, but over a big chocolate fudge cake slice? No ta.

…or nothing

I know I couldn’t finish my jacket potato but it doesn’t mean I don’t want pudding.

You get home and sit there waiting for the stomach pains

Was that a gurgle I heard? Am I bloated or did I eat too much? Pass the peppermint tea.

You wake up the next morning feeling fine and thank God for not glutening you…

*Puts restaurant on list of places to go back to over and over again*

…or you’re unlucky, and get straight onto TripAdvisor, Twitter, and any other public forum you can to rant

The world should know that I have been poisoned. 

But when you find somewhere amazing to eat that’s gluten free, it’s the best feeling

Some places really do know how to cater for coeliacs, and that is AWESOME.

Have I missed any?

Let me know in the comments below if I have missed any! Need more humour? You might also enjoy these:

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2 Comments

  1. Chris
    August 2, 2018 / 08:32

    That is so accurate I laughed…. but tinged with sadness!

  2. Benjamin Keith Richardson
    August 2, 2018 / 10:53

    Hehe, you pretty much got it spot on Sarah! Living in London as I do means there are a heck of lot more safe and great places than most other locations but gosh, my cookies would reveal a shocking amount of time spent browsing menus online.

    Let me leave a big shout out for the newly launched Eat Safe app, Again, caveat is London only so far, but my gosh it makes finding new places and browsing menus so much easier. The app literally has menus *within* it, and you can set the filter to be gluten free and any other allergen free. Give it a go? https://www.eatsafeapp.co.uk/

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